Todd Graham – Prognosticator, Talent Evaluator, Taste Leader

I’ve been known to poke fun at our rivals across town from time to time (to time to time…). But let’s take the opportunity of Saturday’s Arizona State at UCLA matchup to spread the wealth and tease the Sun Devils a little.

Before the season started, Arizona State head coach Todd Graham called this year’s ASU team the best team he’s had in his four years there, a statement he’s doubled down on in subsequent weeks, even as the Sun Devils have been rolled by Texas A&M, taken to the wire by Cal Poly, and embarrassed on their home field by USC. Let’s see what the metrics say:

[table id=109 /]

While you might think that this data proves Graham wrong by indicating that this is decidedly the worst ASU team in the past four years, I would caution that he may be outsmarting us all. It’s clear that Graham has a unique gift for judging talent/quality and for predicting near-term outcomes. We can extrapolate from this some of his visionary assessments of a broad spectrum of cultural and historical phenomena.

Entertainment

• Todd Graham thinks that Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is the pinnacle of the Indiana Jones franchise.
• Todd Graham considered Tito to be the member of the Jackson 5 with the most talent and potential.
• Todd Graham believes that Dan Brown has written the great American novel – he just can’t decide whether it’s Deception Point or Digital Fortress.
• Todd Graham claims that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles in Time is the greatest cinematic achievement of all time. He can’t figure out why it hasn’t yet been included in the Criterion Collection.
• Todd Graham thinks the greatest Beatle was Yoko Ono.

History

• Todd Graham has ended friendships with people because they won’t agree with him that Warren G. Harding is America’s greatest president.
• Todd Graham is so enamored with the effectiveness of the Maginot Line that he’s used it as the inspiration for the Sun Devils’ defense.
• Todd Graham believes that Spanish church-fresco restorer Cecilia Gimenez is our greatest living artist.

Food

• Todd Graham’s favorite pizza comes from Little Caesar’s.
• Todd Graham’s opinion is that Virginia Gentleman is the finest, top-shelf whiskey available for purchase.
• Todd Graham is truly befuddled as to why neither of the Applebee’s in Mesa has received a Michelin star.
• Todd Graham’s favorite mole sauce is mayonnaise.

Technology/Business

• Todd Graham stubbornly clings to his search engine of choice: AltaVista.
• Todd Graham’s music library is wholly contained on his Zune.
• Todd Graham invested his life savings in Beanie Babies.
• Todd Graham still has a portfolio with Lehman Brothers.

Sports

• Todd Graham believes that the best golfer of our generation is Sergio Garcia.
• Todd Graham bet the house on Brazil before last year’s World Cup Semifinal.
• Todd Graham thinks this is the San Francisco 49ers‘ year.
• Todd Graham thinks Pete Carroll is a genius in late game, goal-line situations.
• Todd Graham considers Oregon the overwhelming favorite in the Pac 12 this year.
• And lastly, and most egregiously:

Next: Jim Mora Named Dodd Trophy Coach of the Week

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