Game of Thrones: Pac-12 Edition

Arizona:  House Bolton

We start off with the biggest stretch of a fit in the group. We could have gone with House Martell of Sunspear (Dorne) for either Arizona or Arizona State, but once we determined that ASU was a slightly better match for the Martells, we had to subsequently look far and wide for Arizona’s Westerosi spirit animals. And we think we found them in a fellow wearer of Navy Blue and Red.

While there isn’t an exact geographical fit between the denizens of the desert in Tucson and the upstart Northern brutalists from the Dreadfort (which, now that we think about it, doesn’t seem like the worst nickname in the world for Tucson, considering how many parties at U of A must end up like this), both Wildcat fans and House Bolton are known for carrying sizable chips on their shoulders as a result of numerous perceived injustices over the years. We’ll never forget that infamous Seven Kingdoms Championship Game press conference when Roose Bolton repeatedly and exasperatedly claimed that Bran Stark had “touched the ball”.

Making a comparison specifically speaking to Arizona basketball, both are generally despised wide and far at levels disproportionate to their relative lack of tangible success. But much like the Boltons’ stunning rise to become the top Northern house (for now), Arizona football emerged to shock onlookers when it won (or UCLA painfully lost, but we digress) the Pac-12 South title.

And finally, both House Bolton and Arizona have the most abused men in their respective worlds: Reek/Theon Greyjoy, as a result of the torture he’s suffered from the sadistic Ramsey Bolton; and the guy who has to wash Sean Miller’s dress shirts after every Arizona basketball game, as a result of having to wash Sean Miller’s dress shirts after every Arizona basketball game.

Next: Arizona State