UCLA Football: The Worst Coaches with Whom to Pick a Fight


Following up on the story that blew up the interwebs Monday, hip hop mogul Sean “Puff Daddy/P Diddy/Diddy” Combs was arrested by campus police and charged with three counts of assault with a deadly weapon (a kettlebell!), one count of battery, and one count of making terrorist threats (!!!). This all stemmed from an altercation with UCLA Strength and Conditioning Coach Sal Alosi. For more on the details, see what Rick Neuheisel had to say.

I’m going to leave the legal particulars to other experts in order to address the more pressing question raised by my colleauge Michael Hanna. Is there a worse coach to pick a fight with than the strength and conditioning coach? I submit that there is not. Others agree as a general principle, but let’s look at the UCLA football coaches in particular. Herewith, the definitive ranking of the top five UCLA football coaches you don’t want to take in a fight:

The List

1. Sal Alosi (Strength and Conditioning) – Alosi is 38, obviously fit, and earns his living being a ripped, scary, over-the-top intimidator. Check out the quotes near the bottom of this piece from the LA Times on just how scary former UCLA players Andrew Abbott, Tevin McDonald, and Datone Jones all found Alosi to be.

2. Adrian Klemm (Offensive Line) – Klemm, also 38, is a former NFL O-lineman and knows a thing or two about throwing his weight around.

Jan 2, 2015; San Antonio, TX, USA; UCLA Bruins head coach Jim L. Mora looks onto the field during the first half of the 2015 Alamo Bowl against the Kansas State Wildcats at Alamodome. Mandatory Credit: Soobum Im-USA TODAY Sports

3. Jim Mora (Head Coach) – At 53, Mora is in good shape and burns with an intensity we haven’t seen from a UCLA head coach for as long as I can remember. And he’s got that ornery streak, from the infamous radio inteview with Doug Gottlieb to the time when he blew up at a TV technician talking on the phone during a press conference to the umbrage he took at some late-game chippiness in last year’s Alamo Bowl.

4. Scott White (Linebackers) – He’s 31. He coaches linebackers. He was a multi-year starter at OLB for Washington. But most importantly, click his name for the link to his staff bio and look at that picture! ‘No offense meant, Coach White. I’m sorry, Coach White. I’ll be leaving now, Coach White.’

More: P. Diddy Arrested for Allegedly Fighting a UCLA Football Coach

5. Angus McClure (Defensive Line) – He’s 47, and he may not look like much of a bruiser, but he is the D-line coach and is a former NCAA Division I player. But most of all, his name is Angus McClure, and his sons are named Hamish and Malcolm. That brings to mind a certain vision of toughness:

Even more: More Information on the P. Diddy Assault on a UCLA Football Coach

Honorable Mention

Kennedy Polamalu (Running Backs) – He’s a big boy.

Demetrice Martin (Defensive Backs) – Coach Meat was a two-way player for Michigan State from 1992-1995.

Tom Bradley (Defensive Coordinator) – He’s from the scrap-belt of Pennsylvania.

Next: A Rundown of What We Know Now re: Diddy Arrest