The UCLA Football team can often be polarizing, especially with their fans, so Go Joe Bruin takes a look at two possible outcomes for the 2017 season as seen through the eyes of optimistic and pessimistic Bruin supporters.
It is hard being a UCLA Football fan. On one hand, you want to see the greatness that can come from your Bruin team, and on the other hand, you sometimes have to deal with a bad situation, but not always.
Still, it does not take away from the fact that Bruin fans see things differently and often on opposite sides of the playing field, no pun intended.
So with that, Go Joe Bruin takes a look at a hypothetical conversation between an optimistic Bruin fan and a pessimistic Bruin fan, just to see what they think will occur with the Bruins this fall. So without further ado, a UCLA Football argument in 12 parts.
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UCLA Football vs Texas A&M, September 3 (Sunday)
Optimist Bruin: This is going to be a great start to the season! The Bruins have Sunday all to themselves and Josh Rosen is going to start the re-revolution! I can already smell a 10-win season. Win.
Pessimist Bruin: Are you kidding? The Aggies outlasted the Bruins in 2016 and UCLA is no better than they were under Kennedy Polamalu. Fire Mora. End the season now. Loss.
Optimistic View 1-0 | Pessimistic View 0-1
UCLA vs Hawai’i, September 9
Optimist: We have a cupcake, no disrespect to the Rainbow Warriors, which means this Bruins team will destroy Hawai’i. UCLA should win by 30! Win.
Pessimist: Ugh. Calm down snowflake! UCLA will win but barely. Remember UNLV last year? I thought that was rough. It will be similar. UCLA by two. Win.
Optimist: Name calling huh? Do you work for that other UCLA site? Or the Trump Administration?
Pessimist: *Mumbles under their breath* Whatever.
Optimistic View 2-0 | Pessimistic View 1-1
UCLA at Memphis, September 16
Pessimist: Me first. LOSS! Memphis is going to be tough at home and Mora will not have this team ready for the road, let alone the season. Let me guess, you pick them to win? Loss.
Optimist: Seeing as I am level-headed, I think this will be a tough game, but UCLA has the talent and coaching and will win by a touchdown. Win.
Pessimist: Are you on drugs? There is no way UCLA wins. They lose because of bad last-second play calling. And I bet they have at least 5 false starts.
Optimist: You need to switch to decaf. And no, I’m not on drugs. Currently.
Optimistic View 3-0 | Pessimistic View 1-2
UCLA at Stanford, September 23
Optimist: This should appease you, UCLA will lose, but just barely. This will be a hard trip up north, but one that brings the Bruins together as this game will be a stepping stone for the program. Loss.
Pessimist: Do my ears deceive me? You have the loss predicted correctly, but it will be a bloodbath. Mora will not have this team ready and Stanford will run all over UCLA. Fire Mora. Loss.
Optimist: I’m sorry, were you talking? I was watching the grass grow. It is much more entertaining than you.
Optimistic View 3-1 | Pessimistic View 1-3
UCLA vs Colorado, September 30
Optimist: There is a bit of a rivalry brewing with Colorado. This will be another tough game, but UCLA has the Buffs’ number. A big win for the Bruins to end September. I might even go karaoking after this victory. Win.
Pessimist: Ugh. They can’t lose them all, but Mora will try. Fine, I’ll put on a happy face and call this a win. But I’m not going to like it. FYI, it’s way too hot to be at the Rose Bowl in September. That’s why I will not go to this game or any until November. Loss.
Optimist: *Under breathe* Bandwagon.
Pessimist: What?
Optimist: Nothing.
Optimistic View 4-1 | Pessimistic View 2-3
UCLA Bye Week
Pessimist: Ugh. A bye week. I hate bye weeks. Mora will probably not practice all week and buy the team ice cream. Typical. Fire Mora!
Optimist: Are you seriously complaining about a bye week? Dude, get a hobby! Are you secretly an Arizona fan? UCLA will use this week to recover from any injuries and make adjustments. Oh yeah, and FYI, Mora is the Man!
Pessimist: Man on the hot seat! Ugh. Whatever. Is it basketball season yet? Oh right, Alford. Double ugh!
UCLA vs Arizona, September 14
Optimist: Hey, your team plays on this day… against UCLA! Ha! This is an easy Bruin victory. They win by 60, just to piss you off. Win.
Pessimist: Oh very classy. Do you write for that other UCLA site? Yes, it’s a win, but barely over a horrible Arizona team. Win.
Optimist: Get your own jokes, Debbie Downer!
Optimistic View 5-1 | Pessimistic View 3-3
UCLA vs Oregon, October 21
Optimist: I know your answer, so let me start with a positive take on the Bruins against this downward trending Ducks team. Oregon is not what they were and will get trounced by UCLA. Win.
Pessimist: Oregon is not the same, but UCLA will be exactly the same as they were last year when they went 4-8. It’ll be a very bad loss. By at least 20. Loss.
Optimist: You are not well.
Pessimist: I didn’t take my meds today.
Optimistic View 6-1 | Pessimistic View 3-4
UCLA at Washington, October 28
Pessimist: You probably think UCLA has a chance in this game, don’t you hippy? Well let me tell you that Mora will be embarassed going back to his alma mater. He should have left when he had the chance. Fire Mora! Loss.
Optimist: I may be optimistic, but I am realistic as well. UCLA loses this one in Seattle, by only 3. Hehehehe. Loss.
Pessimist: Ooooooooh you would say that!
Optimistic View 6-2 | Pessimistic View 3-5
UCLA at Utah, November 3 (Friday)
Pessimist: There is no way UCLA gets out of the SLC with a win. You’re crazy if you think so! Loss.
Optimist: Except for the last two games played in Utah. Remember, it’s the Rose Bowl where UCLA can’t beat Utah. You just love UCLA loses, don’t you? Win.
Optimistic View 7-2 | Pessimistic View 3-6
UCLA vs Arizona State, November 11
Pessimist: I don’t want to hear what you have to say about this game. Rosen was knocked out of this game last year and I wouldn’t be surprised if he is knocked out again. At least we have two backups this time, but who knows if they will be ready with Mora in charge. *Rolls eyes* Loss.
Optimist: Ok, seriously, do you need a hug? Maybe a nap? Are you seriously projecting another Rosen injury? On the contrary, Rosen will have his revenge as he uses this game as a platform to boost his Heisman campaign that is heating up at this time of the year. As Eddie Vanderdoes would say, “Just win, baby!” Win.
Optimistic View 8-2 | Pessimistic View 3-7
UCLA at USC, November 18
Pessimist: Go ahead.
Optimist: You first, I insist. I want to hear your negative take on the Crosstown Showdown.
Pessimist: Negative. Pssssh, your face is negative.
Optimist: Very adult of you.
Pessimist: More adult than you.
Optimist: Stop trying to make this into a scene out of Rosencratz and Guildenstern are Dead. No one will get the reference. Just talk about USC for Pete’s sake!
Pessimist: Fine! USC is going to destroy UCLA. Sam Darnold will own the Bruins on his way to a National Championship. A big freaking LOSS!
Optimist: Of course. Unlike you, I am taking into account how huge this game will be for the Bruins as they are in the hunt for the Pac-12 South. Rosen will have an amazing game, embarrassing the Trojans on their home field and knocking them out of contention for the division. HUGE WIN!
Optimistic View 9-2 | Pessimistic View 3-8
UCLA vs Cal, November 24
Pessimist: Me first, because I am sick of this preview already, especially with the way things are going so far. Just like last season, UCLA falls flat on their face against Cal and ends a miserable season. Loss.
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Optimist: Are you seriously predicting a 3-9 season? You really think they will do worse than last year?
Pessimist: Yes and it will end with Mora getting the boot, finally!
Optimist: Whatever, bro. I see it differently. UCLA gets the win over Cal, wins the South Division, goes to the Pac-12 Championship and gets a New Year’s Eve Bowl. Win.
Pessimist: 10-2? You are an optimist. There is no way that happens, sunshine! You are smoking some bad granola.
Optimist: It’s a lot more realistic than 3-9, especially with all the talent on this team.
Pessimist: And that is why Mora will be fired, because he had all this talent and did worse than last year.
Optimist: Jedd Fisch is going to have this offense ready.
Pessimist: Yeah, no doubt it will be offensive! Ha!
Optimist: You know what, you are a blue and gold pain in the…
FINAL RECORDS: Optimistic View 10-2 | Pessimistic View 3-9
Next: UCLA Football Should Have Fall Camp in San Bernardino
And from there, the Optimistic Bruin and the Pessimistic Bruin lived forever, eternally arguing over what UCLA Football will become in the future. Both feverishly arguing their point and becoming elated when their predictions come true from season to season. UCLA will have highs and lows throughout time and each Bruin gets their chance to shine with their respective corners of belief. Ah yes, the circle of Bruin life. *Rolls eyes*